With rapidly falling cases around the world, Pfizer is rushing to get their latest vaccine approved: FetuVax: the covid vaccine for unborn fetuses. A spokesman from Pfizer said that FetuVax is 100% safe and effective, and there is only a 42% chance that it is not 100% safe and effective. “We’ve reduced the amount of the vaccine to be appropriate for the weight of an average fetus,” said Blaine Prigly, a community college dropout and one of the scientists who helped develop FetuVax quickly before the pandemic ends. “The best part is that even though FetuVax contains a much smaller dose, the cost is exactly the same as the adult vaccines.”
Ripp Oftenly, current member of the FDA and former Pfizer lobbyist, said the rush to approve the drug had nothing to do with the fact that it is entirely unnecessary. “From a shareholder’s perspective, getting this to the market before Moderna comes out with their own version of a fetal vaccine is priority number one. Advertising is number two.”
Fetal advocacy groups slammed the decision at a press briefing, stating that the trial results were not made public and there is not enough information to approve FetuVax so early. Lorraine Swift, Director of PETOF (People for the Ethical Treatment of Fetuses) stated, “Pfizer has pushed back the release of their testing data to 2095. By that time these fetuses will be senior citizens, if they even make it that far.”
“Well that’s just a losing attitude, isn’t?” Replied Oftenly. “Every time we try and help a fetus, PETOF cries wolf. You have to consider the extraordinary logistics involved in an operation like this,” he said. “For example we had to create new, extra long syringes just to reach the fetuses in utero. That’s an extra expense for the taxpayers who funded this project, and I think it would be irresponsible for Pfizer to not at least make a profit off it.”
Swift shot back, “What about potential adverse reactions to the vaccine?” Oftenly replied, “And what if the fetus gets covid, how will it cough? A fetus can’t cough, and that’s a problem. And what about a runny nose, how are we going to get tissues into the womb? We can’t have millions of fetuses with covid-infected noses dripping into uteruses. For a fetal advocacy group, you don’t seem to be advocating for fetuses very well.”
This article is being updated as new information arrives.
Since long before the pandemic there was an old asian woman in my town who walked alone outside on the sidewalk, wearing a mask, every day. It seemed strange to me, but I chalked it up to culture. We know in China for example, many people wear masks outside because of the pollution, and for this particular woman in Vermont I assumed that it had simply become a habit, as the air is relatively clean here. When the pandemic struck, however, I viewed her as more of a knowing prophet than an outlier, and subsequently thought nothing of the many other people who also began walking alone outside on the sidewalk, wearing masks.
A year passed before I started noticing something else, something that at first seemed like an anomaly, until I saw it again, and again: people in their cars, alone, wearing masks. Check the passenger and backseats; no one, and the little hamster wheel in my skull began to spin; what does this mean, is covid in the wind? What is the government not telling me? Scenes from the movie Contagion flashed through my mind, because in dire times, Matt Damon seems like a man you can trust. I immersed myself in scientific and medical journals for months: The BMJ, JAMA, NEMJ and The Lancet. I spent hundreds of hours reading data from the CDC and WHO, but could not find a single source that showed me walking alone outside, or driving a car alone without a mask, was a covid risk. I therefore came to the inescapable conclusion that some people are afraid of catching covid… from themselves.
Conspiracy theories abound, and God knows the people have been whipped into a paranoid frenzy not seen since the days and months following 9-11, but it’s time to take a step back and ask this question: have we gone too far? My God we’ve been terrified. For almost two years I was a serious mask proponent. I even found myself looking at people who were not wearing masks with distain—how dare they—the science was clear… or was it? I could write a book covering the science behind masking, social distancing, vaccination and natural immunity, but I won’t. Politics has trumped reality at this point, and people rarely change their minds anyway, as we are witnessing with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who has gone from a charming, progressive leader of a world-beloved democracy to a terrifying, authoritative dictator who has ordained himself with sweeping powers to crush one of the most peaceful and successful protests the world has ever seen. I encourage you to watch any live stream of the protests on YouTube: they are akin to a music festival. Why are the mandates so incredibly essential for truckers to deliver their loads? They are alone, in their trucks, all day and night. And now Trudeau has gone so far as to fine these peaceful freedom-lovers 100,000 dollars, confiscate their personal bank accounts and imprison them for a year. Trudeau has even expanded the money laundering and terrorism financing laws to include crowdsourcing funds to the truckers. Let that sink in. If you send money to support the protestors it will be considered financing terrorism. This is exactly the type of behavior constitutional lawyers warned us about when debating the Patriot Act.
We are told that the vaccines work, and I mostly believe it. I got vaccinated myself, because I was told that meant the end of the mandates, the end of masking, of lockdowns, and of people looking ridiculous wearing masks alone in their own cars, but it wasn’t. They keep moving the bar. If the vaccines work, then we don’t need the mandates, because if you want to protect yourself, you can get the vaccine. You don’t need a mandate to protect yourself; you simply get the vaccine, and for free. So you got the vaccine, right? Then why are you still afraid? Are you afraid that unvaccinated people are spreading some different kind of covid the medical community is somehow unaware of? Or are you afraid that the vaccines you took actually don’t work? If the vaccines don’t work, then we also don’t need the mandates. Either way, we don’t need the mandates. You have to ask yourself, and answer honestly, why you want to force people who don’t want to take the vaccine to take the vaccine. Is it because you care about their health so much that forcing them to do something against their will is more important than having autonomy over their own bodies, or is it because you are still afraid of something personally?
If you haven’t already, you’re going to get covid, and regardless of your vaccination status. The vaccines reduce your risk of severe illness, that is all. So then, you’re vaccinated. You can go back to living a free life, get to it! If you’re not vaccinated, then you’ve decided that you’re freedom to choose is worth the personal risk. Well, that’s your choice!
And it’s long past time to set the kids free. A recent article by David Leonhardt in The New York Times stated, “For children without a serious medical condition, the danger of severe Covid is so low as to be difficult to quantify.” And as Harvard’s Joseph G. Allen has written, “For anyone who fears moving away from universal masking, the great news is that they can continue to wear an N95 mask — along with being vaccinated — and live a low-risk life regardless of what others around them are doing.” That is your choice as parents to make, if you want your child to be vaccinated and to wear a mask, or just a mask, or to be vaccinated and not wear a mask. Mandates leave you no choice. The science is clear, omicron has turned the tide from pandemic to endemic. We should be grateful now, and jubilant, that we can allow our children to see their friends and teacher’s faces after two years of unfortunate restrictions, and that we ourselves can take off the masks and get back to living freely. Mandates under the current circumstances are extremely dangerous in a free society. Even having this opinion is viewed as dangerous by some, but it’s time for courage to replace fear and move past the government mandates, we’ve certainly earned it.
Finally, I want to share something that has kept my faith in humanity during these bizarre times. It’s a 24 hour live camera in Key West, Florida, showing people walking around happily in a free society, and it looks like a forgotten dream world. It’s like there was never a pandemic in the first place: take a look HERE. Keep in mind now, that cases in Florida are dropping rapidly, even though people have not been wearing masks there for many months now and only 66% of the population is fully vaccinated. So the next you’re driving your car, alone, wearing a mask, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself just exactly what it is that you are doing, because to the rest of us, you simply look ridiculous.
Antenna Wilde 