Something We All Can Agree On


It’s Not Just About the Presidency. As the political pundits take turns lambasting each other, and the Republicans and Democrats attack and blame each other, a very small group of people at the top of the economic ladder sit back and laugh.

On the day I turned eighteen I registered to vote as an Independent, and not once have I ever considered changing my mind. Recently, I was surprised to learn that a whopping 42% of Americans also identify themselves as Independents; far higher than either Democrats or Republicans on their own. And the trend is increasing:

 

Screen Shot 2016-02-28 at 3.23.39 PM

Now, I’m not going to tell you to vote for Trump, or Clinton, or even Sanders. That would be a waste of time. My point is that the vast majority of Americans are totally disgusted with the establishment and they want change. Real change. So then, can we at least agree that many people had HOPE that Obama would deliver, and yet didn’t?

Now, we can blame the unprecedented amount of obstructionism in congress, or the Wall Street bailout and its influence in Washington, or even Obama himself. But the truth is that virtually every Senator and every House Representative spends the majority of their time getting campaign contributions for the next election cycle, and those contributions come from Wall Street, Big Oil, Big Pharma, Big Industry, and the Military Industrial Complex.

And We, the People, just don’t have any influence. But why?

  1. WE DONT HAVE A LOBBY.
    1. The American people don’t lobby representatives with CASH donations. So maybe we need to play the same game. The closest thing to a people’s lobby are unions, of course, but those are the same unions that Big Industry and Wall Street want to crush. So we should support them.
  2. WE DONT VOTE.
    1. 47% of Americans did not vote in the last election; an embarrassing statistic for the world’s (supposed) greatest democracy. Are we confined to TV and couches? Your masters continue to hope so.

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But what the fuck can we actually DO?

  1. VOTE. THEM. OUT.
    1. When we don’t vote these fucking clowns out of office, they just collect more and more money from special interests, and in that corruption cycle, they become harder and harder to get out. The irony. So then, VOTE THEM OUT! Don’t just go to the polls with a president in mind, look at the smaller fish. Who has your back? Who has a track record? Who’s a shill? Do some research!
  2. PARTICIPATE.
    1. If 100% of people get off their asses to go to work, the supermarkets, malls, bars, restaurants and movie theaters, then why don’t they go to vote? (And I mean YOU!)
    2. Because poll locations and voting information is hard to find. You never hear the mainstream media advocating for local populations to go where, when, and how to vote. And for one very good reason: THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO. But why?
    3. Because the more people know, the less control the Power Elite have over their lives. YOUR life.
  3. FOCUS ON YOUR COMMUNITY.
    1. We all have ideas about who should be the next president, but it’s far more important in the long run to control the House, Senate, and your local representatives. Democracy begins at home, and we exact Change from the ground up. Presidential elections are important, but they are also a distraction from who will ultimately vote for the proposed legislation that will affect your lives.

Then what’s to stop us?

  1. EDUCATION
    1. The vast majority of Americans are completely ignorant about what’s actually going on, and rely on the mainstream media for information. However, the mainstream media’s MAIN PURPOSE is to provide DISINFORMATION. Therefore, the only hope to regain REAL DEMOCRACY is to spread the truth to your friends and family, and anyone who will listen. You will be confronted with opposition, disbelief, and even scorn. No worries, it’s ok. Don’t give up! There is only one planet, one people, and one chance to save it. So keep the faith and keep on keeping on.

But what about the President?

I won’t inject my personal opinion, but will say this; that the ONLY way to effect real change and give the power back to the People is to elect someone who you feel has the message that BRINGS ALL OF US TOGETHER. Whoever you feel cares about the Middle Class, the working families who make up the vast majority of our country. Someone who is not divisive but inclusive. Someone with a track record that you can rely on. Someone who has not flip flopped over the years. Someone who is not interested in their own profit but the benefit of the general population. The choice is yours, and GOOD LUCK!

 

 

 

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Man Smokes Weed, Goes on Shooting Spree


Weed-gun

 

Man Smokes Weed, Goes on Shooting Spree

Is it really this bad?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 No, of course not. I had to get your attention though, because Americans need to deal with this very sensitive topic of gun control and mass shootings. And I have a solution.

Don’t change the gun laws. There, I said it. Now all you gun-lovin’ 2nd Amendment fanatics can relax.

But don’t worry all you peace-lovin’, another-Sandy-Hook-fearing Americans, I’ve got you covered.

With every gun purchase, Americans will also be given a license to grow, carry and smoke weed. Because you never see the headline, “Man Smokes Weed, Goes on Shooting Spree.” Never. You also never see the headline, “Man Smokes Weed, Goes on bank-robbing spree”. Because when you smoke weed, you just want to relax, chill out, and think about the vast mysteries of the universe before succumbing to the inevitable munchies.

So bake those brownies, and butter that popcorn, because weed is gonna solve this shit like antibiotics solved the Clap. And you’ll never have to worry about that isolated, bomb-making lunatic in the woods when he loses all of those twisted aspirations to “make a statement” and “blah blah blah,” because he’ll be too lazy with all of the THC in his system. He’ll be thinking about fishing, starting another garden. Maybe even getting over all that pointless heartache that sent him into Psycho-ville to begin with.

And the guns with still be there, collecting dust in the corner of the room, long forgotten. Because he needs to water those weeds, make sure they’re happy, getting enough sunshine. And he needs to share something else with the world, namely, this weed that he grew, created. And there will be women impressed with this, how Kind it is, how tasty, and then he’ll get laid. And no one ever went on a shooting spree after having an orgasm. Yeah, you won’t ever see that headline either.

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Independent Study finds 100% of Women are Crazy


An independent study conducted by Antenna Wilde reveals that 100 percent of women are crazy. The
double‐blind study, conducted with 16 women over the course of 22 years, shows a clear pattern of
insanity. “This study was unique in that the one conducting the study was not even aware of it at the
time,” said Wilde, a part‐time philosopher and amateur psychologist. “Neither were the women, nobody
was.”

Wilde says he starting compiling the data he had gathered after discovering stacks of old journals and
notebooks he found in his basement. “There’s a reason they say hindsight is 20/20,” he said, “because
looking over these entries it’s obvious, but at the time I had no idea.”

Lawrence Bunt, professor of sexual relations at the Institute for Sensible Relationships, or ISR, said,
“Realizing the person you were with was crazy is nothing new. At least 42 percent of people come to
that conclusion within the first year. What’s interesting about this study is that 100 percent of the
women were crazy, which raises some questions about Mr. Wilde himself.”

Wilde addressed the notion that he has a propensity for crazy women. “Of course I have a propensity for
crazy women, but who doesn’t? If a woman takes a shot of tequila, rips off her dress and starts riding an
electric bull in some country bar, for example, that’s crazy. But what man wouldn’t want to take her
home? And I love it when a woman tells me she’s ‘really screwed up right now’, as if that will deter me
from wanting to sleep with her.”

Alicia Poutridge, Wilde’s high school sweetheart, said, “Antenna is crazy, that’s why he thinks everyone
else is.” And Amanda Dickman, former girlfriend‐turned‐lesbian, said, “I told him I liked women but he
didn’t care. You could say he was like, my boyfriend I guess, but we never had sex.”

“I entered the data into my computer,” said Wilde. “And ran it through an algorithm that sorted out key
words like, lying, cheating, betrayal; and crazy, bitch, sucks. And guess what? 100 percent of the time
they were used in reference to the female, or to describe her behavior. It’s all here in black and white…
ink doesn’t lie.”

Wilde said his next project will be developing an app to weed out crazy women from dating sites like OK
Cupid and eHarmony. A spokesmen for the dating sites, under condition of anonymity, said that would,
“effectively close down their services.” Continue reading Independent Study finds 100% of Women are Crazy

I will EXPOUND on Tinder!


Tinder

I will EXPOUND on Tinder, and accuse the Hufffington Post of plagiarism!

OK, Weird title, but fuck it (butt-fuck it?) Sorry,

 

Tinder is weird. A combination of social networking, spam and Match.com

Well who can blame us?

Well, at least half the planet i suppose. Tinder represents the kind of desperate, anti-social srcew-ball-ism that pervades American society: we want to connect, to get laid; but not leave the house. Welcome SPAM BOTS! And other, weirder individuals who actually use their Facebook page to garnish more extensive personal information before selling it to Russian and Nigerian spammers, scammers, and hackers.

Tinder may be the hot new dating app for regular folks and beauty queens, but it’s not without flaws. Cybersecurity company Symantec revealed in a blog post earlier this month that it had come across fake Tinder profiles, which spam people and direct them to an apparent porn site designed to take their money.
The fake profiles show up alongside the other photos of strangers you see once you’ve signed into Tinder through Facebook via the iPhone app. For those who haven’t used it, on Tinder you fill out a simple profile and post a few photos of yourself. You are then presented with strangers’ profiles one by one and you can swipe the person’s profile left to essentially “pass” on them and right to “like” them. If both people “like” one another they are connected through an in-app chat feature.
According to the blog post, the fake accounts only chat with you if you chat them first. Once they start chatting, many of them have similar scripts.

The bots use stunted language, and Symantec even found a few glitches in their chats.

Tinder doesn’t currently have any way to report spam in the app, and Symantec suggests that you just “block” any users who you suspect are fake. “We are aware of the spammers and have already taken precautions to prevent them from bothering our users,” a Tinder spokesperson said in a statement to The Huffington Post. “It’s safe to say that it will no longer be an issue.”
The fake profiles are not just there to annoy you, they’re there to take your money. Once they entice you with stilted flirty language, they invite you to videochat with them. The “girl” that Symantec chatted with sent a shortened link to a webcam site.

If you’re silly enough to accept that invitation, you’re brought to a page that asks for your credit card information. The fake “girls” on Tinder will explain to you that the site needs your credit card information to verify your age.
Once you give your credit card information, you will be automatically signed up for the sketchy webcam site’s premium membership. If you don’t read the fine print you won’t realize that you’ll automatically get charged almost $80 if you don’t cancel your account quickly enough.

Satnam Narang, Manager of Symantec Security Response, who wrote the blog post, gave the Huffington Post some tips for identifying a fake profile on Tinder. “Check to see if you have any interests in common. Of all the fake profiles I encountered, none of them shared a single interest with me,” Narang says. “This is likely because they created fake accounts on Facebook and did not populate them with any interests.” He also suggests that you read the short bio they provide. Many of them look suspicious. A few fake bios that Symantec encountered included lines like “will u do it right” and “just need a booty call.” Also, remember that spam accounts never send the first message.
Fake online dating profiles are nothing new. On one popular dating site, OKCupid, users can be chosen to become moderators. Any OKCupid member can “flag” any content on the site, which often includes fake-looking profiles and messages. That content is then sent to the moderators who each say whether the item or profile should be “deleted,” “left alone” or “can’t tell.”
People are likely less skeptical of profiles they see on Tinder, since most of the information on someone’s profile (name, photos, etc.) come directly from Facebook. In order to make a fake Tinder profile, one first has to make a fake Facebook profile with a fake name and fake photos. It takes a lot of work. To make, say, a fake OKCupid profile is simple. You choose a username, use a fake photo you found on the Internet, make up fake information about yourself, and you’re ready for a troll down waste-your-time avenue. After all, how do you expect to meet someone real if your own profile is fake?

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PJ Britton Chronicles


Image

 

     It was late July, mid-nineties, and a classic PJ summer: party all Friday night, crash on the disgusting red couch, wake up Saturday and eat breakfast before heading to the beach. On this particular Saturday morning, on the way to breakfast, PJ saw a man dropping a turn-table onto a pile of junk next to some trash bins and pulled his silver Volvo onto the curb. We got out to get a closer look. PJ asked the man, “Are you throwing that away?”
    “Well, yeah,” said the man. “I’ve been meaning to fix it but I just don’t have the time.”
    “Oh?” PJ said, “What’s the matter with it?”
    “Its missing a needle, but other than that it’s in great shape. I hate to get rid of it. Do you want it?”
    “Well my brother is a DJ,” PJ said. “”I was thinking maybe he could use it.”
    “Oh yeah, well it’s a great unit. I really hate to get rid of it, I mean, if you could give me something for it I would let you have it.”
    There was a pause, then PJ said, “Well, if you’re throwing it away I’ll take it, but, you know, I was just maybe going to take it if you were throwing it away. Maybe my brother can do something with it, I don’t know.”
    “I really hate to get rid of it,” the man said. He looked lost, and then, somehow defeated. “I guess you can have it. It’s been sitting in my garage for years now… well, just take it.”
    “Thanks,” PJ said, grabbing the unit and putting it in the back seat. We drove off, and drove, and were driving over the green bridge when PJ said, “I’ve never been given such a hard time about taking something outta the trash before.”
    I laughed, “He had a real hard time getting rid of that turn-table.”
    “Well come on, ” P said. “”You’re throwing it out and then you want to haggle with me while it’s in the trash?”
    “But it’s a really great unit,” I said.
    “And I hate to get rid of it,” P said.
    “That’s why I’m throwing it away.”
    “But maybe you could give me something for it.”
    “Yeah,” PJ said, his head turned and his blue eyes beamed, “it’s a really good turn-table.”

    By the time we reached the Diner we were in tears. It wasn’t the funniest thing, but the timing was perfect; hung-over, pre-breakfast, and suddenly exposed to some guy’s lengthy personal relationship with a stereo component. We saw the years of frustration in his eyes; the lack of time; the cost/return analysis… and the inevitable conclusion that it was not worth it anymore ——so toss it. But then, the last-minute hope that some value might be re-claimed from this man who wanted to pull it out of the trash… a man who saw it’s potential, who might want to make the effort that he himself had failed to make for years——and even pay him for it… but then the inevitable let down of realizing that, no, even in the trash it was only worth its weight in freedom.

    Classic hilarity, but when we walked into the diner, reality set in. Sober reality. We were in ludicrous mode; sacked-out silly-stupid mode, but the patrons were stone-cold sober; eating eggs, drinking coffee, wondering just what crazy fucks walked into their world. We sobered up immediately.

    PJ ordered his usual; eggs over easy, bacon, toast, coffee and milk. I ordered the same but with orange juice instead. When the meal came he said, “Bretsky, try this milk.”
    “I don’t like milk.”
    “Just a try it,” he held out the chalice.
    “I don’t like milk. I never drink milk.”
    And so PJ took it as a challenge, naturally, and insisted that I have a sip of his milk. “Fine,” I said, taking a sip, and it was delicious. I guess it was the depraved, alcohol-laden stomach lining that appreciated the nectar; the smooth, sweet richness coating my insides. So I ordered one myself. P was right. Mother fucker, he was usually right.

Clash of the Titans 2010. Conclusion: Shitty Script


At first I anticipated a new take on the film, a new interpretation, but unfortunately special effects can’t hide script errors. Sam Worthington was good in Avatar, but he’s playing the same guy in Clash of the Titans. It might not be bad acting, but it is bad directing and bad scriptwriting. Unconvincing, implausible and unrealistic. For example, we are shown how Perseus has been a simple fisherman all his life, but in a matter of moments he suddenly transforms himself into a top-notch warrior who beats the captain of the guard with no training at all? His attitude and behavior is one of a trained soldier, a captain even, not one of a young man learning about who he is and where his destiny lies.

In the original film, Harry Hamlin portrays Perseus well, realistic in terms of how a man would act under the circumstances. He is ignorant yet curious; enchanted by the gods who play him like a pawn in their game on Olympus. He is wooed by the gifts of sword and shield, and is trained to use them to his advantage. With the “new” Perseus, we see a man rejecting these gifts, determined to beat them “as a man” and yet he is fighting against the power of the gods! What “man” wouldn’t take the sword? Let me ask, would YOU take the sword? He does take the shield, perhaps because it is a gift from a man, but in mythology the shield was given by Hera. And by the way, no helmet of invisibility from Athena? And Andromeda is supposed to be Perseus’s love, and yet there is nothing between them. In fact, Perseus rejects her to go live alone on a mountain… what man would do that?

Ralph Fiennes clearly earns best actor as Hades. Thank you, Ralph. Liam Neison is sub-par as Zeus… and where is Poseidon? Poseidon doesn’t have a role at all, I can’t remember a single line he says. In fact, when Zeus famously cries out, “Release the Kraken” Poseidon isn’t even in the room. Zeus dismisses them all and tells Hades to release the Kraken. But Poseidon controls the Kraken, not Hades. This is such a fundamental error that it defies logic in a multimillion dollar film. Perhaps this is what happens when hack insiders hob-nob in Hollywood to get writing credits, or when directors decide to *write* it themselves by hollering out half-baked, ego-ridden improvisations. And what’s with Calibos? In the new film, Calibos isn’t Andromeda’s suitor, no connection at all, totally different guy in fact. And there’s no riddle for Perseus to solve, nothing the original script brought to the film. The original script which was based on mythology by the way. You know, the story! They should have just elaborated on the original script and made it into two detailed films, instead of hacking the original in half; like the pointless chase scene where Perseus goes after one of Hades minions who stole Medusa’s head, —what? Suddenly it was Avatar again.

With all it’s cheesy claymation, the original Clash of the Titans still kicks ass over the remake. I guess story, plot and pacing will always triumph over special effects, ego-stroking and the quest for fast money.

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Llama Poo, by Pretty Poo


Antenna Wilde welcomes special guest blogger, Pretty Poo, from Myspace.com

11/20/09

Llama Poo
by Pretty poo

Let me tell you something about Llama poo, like, something that you probably don’t know. It totally stinks! Llamas have smelly, scruffy brown hair, like a dusty old floor mat, one of those dirty tan hemp mats. BTW, have you ever flipped over a hemp floor mat? Nothing but dirt and dust!
But ANYWAY, llama poo is the worst smelling poo I’ve ever known, and believe me, The Poo knows her poop!

I was house sitting for this crazy old animal talker. That’s someone who talks psychically with animals,—or so she tells people. (But people DO talk psychic with animals, I talk to my cat all the time, and she listens! I say, “Here Sheeba here” (in my mind) and she’ll prance over, then up onto my lap, “Yeay Sheeba!” And she’ll purr in my ear, and I’m pretty sure she’s saying, “Luuuvvvhyuu Rrrr.” So that’s like, psychic communication.)

But ANYWAY. This crazy old woman had nine stinking cats who poohed all over the house, and a couple dogs who poohed regular in the yard, and then there was the two llamas, and they poohed in pebbles; big pyramids of poo-pebbles that cascaded onto the floor of the fenced enclosure. (GOD I hate caged animals!) They had nowhere to run! No fun! No one to save them, —except for Poo, that is!

I made the decision after catching one whip of that stink… that horribly pungent STANK! Llama poo is so offensive it’s like putting your nose under a warm crock-pot full of methane and ammonia; burning your nose with it, hearing the crackle of mucus! They should tap into the essence of llama poo instead of drilling for oil in foreign countries. Give Poo a chance!

But ANYWAY, the llamas natural habitat is not to be enclosed in a 10 x 12 space, and these two llamas were already up to their ankles in ammoniated-methane-poo, so I made the decision to set them free. It was better for them, the environment, and yours truly (who has an especially sensitive olfactory system.) You should have seen the look of joy on their camel-like faces!

But those llamas died. I don’t know when they died, only that it was a little after I set them free. I heard about it later on, when the crazy old woman tried to sue me, (until I poohed in a newspaper, rolled it up, snuck into her room while she was sleeping and left it on the pillow next to her head. She saw it there the next morning, and knew. She knew not to fuck with The Poo!)

But ANYWAY, I was pretty sad about those llamas, I didn’t realize they had no survival skills in the wild. But don’t judge the Poo, I’m telling you some things you didn’t know,—and don’t think that I should feel bad,—up yours! The Poo has her pride! Those effing llamas never had it so good as when I set them free. And even though their sorry llama-lives were cut short, remember this: the star that burns twice as bright burns half as long. So you’re WELCOME llamas, and PS: your poo stinks!

Sincerely,
P.P.

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