In Last Ditch Effort, Bill Cosby Claims He is Actually Ray Charles


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In a last ditch effort to avoid jail time, beloved comedian and serial rapist Bill Cosby argued to the court that he was, in fact, beloved musician Ray Charles. When the honorable Judge Steven T. O’Neill rejected that claim, Cosby replied, “Would you believe Stevie Wonder? Look at these fingers!”

That claim was also rejected by his magistrate after Cosby failed to play ‘Higher Ground’ and ‘Part Time Lover’ to his satisfaction. Cosby is currently awaiting sentencing with a freezer full of Pudding pops.