Obama: More Gray than Black or White


by Antenna Wilde

Ever since Obama’s speech on 3/18/08, one segment keeps ringing in my brain:

“I have brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles and cousins, of every race and every hue, scattered across three continents.”

Wow… even Eskimo? This guy is good; he’s genetically associated himself with every person on the planet—in just one sentence. I’m sure that nailed down the Siamese-twin and hermaphrodite vote as well. All he has to do is get those aliens from Area 54 registered, and he’s a shoe-in. I’d like to suggest the perfect running mate: Tiger Woods.

I’m kind of jealous, that’s all. I mean, I’m only English, Dutch, French and Scot (my Dad claims we’re Swedish too, but I think he just had a great vacation there). Maybe with the help of genetic engineering, I could infuse the rest of the races into my biological code—and throw in a dolphin, leopard and chimpanzee for posterity.

Obama, Clinton and McCain’s genealogies are here. Pretty weird, though interestingly enough, Obama has the most links to former presidents.

Now, if only we can get him to speak dolphin…

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