Donald Trump’s Hair Considering Options to Leave Administration


Trump's Hair

Donald Trump’s Hair was spotted considering options to leave the administration yesterday outside the Mar-a-Lago estate in Palm Beach, Fl., as the president was exiting his limousine.

Speaking on condition of anonymity, a source close to the Donald’s Hair (who denies he is a comb) said that the Hair had been considering his options for some time, but didn’t expect to be caught considering them in public.

It remains unclear what opportunities the former president’s Hair would have in the global marketplace, but rumors have been circulating about a merger with Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos.

Hair-Bezos-Merger
Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos considers merger with Trump’s Hair

Sources close to both Bezos and the Hair have confirmed that there has been mutual admiration between them for some time, although other interested parties were reported to be Goldmann Sachs Chairman Lloyd Blankfein.

However, in a statement released earlier today, Blankfein said that he is only interested in speculating on the potential merger between Bezos and the Hair, not in donning the coif himself.

Hair-Blankfein-Considering
Goldmann Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein denies any personal interest in Trump’s Hair

French President Emmanuel Macron has offered the Hair a spacious flat in downtown Paris where it can consider its options. As Macron has a full head of hair already, it is uncertain what his motivations are, but sources close to Macron say the Hair is very concerned about the impact of climate change and, more specifically, the impact of high humidity on hair strands and frizz control in general.

Although sources say any immediate move is unlikely, the Hair is known to be unruly and unpredictable, like the president himself. “We haven’t had a president’s Hair this unruly since Andrew Jackson,” said one Washington insider. “A guy like Bannon or Kushner leaving, that would be bad enough, but the Hair? The Hair would be devastating.”

Hair-bald-Devastating

We ask the readers, what impact might the Hair’s departure have on the Trump administration?

Hair coifs courtesy of Trump’s Hair

Bald Trump image by Casey Hawes

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