I will EXPOUND on Tinder!


Tinder

I will EXPOUND on Tinder, and accuse the Hufffington Post of plagiarism!

OK, Weird title, but fuck it (butt-fuck it?) Sorry,

 

Tinder is weird. A combination of social networking, spam and Match.com

Well who can blame us?

Well, at least half the planet i suppose. Tinder represents the kind of desperate, anti-social srcew-ball-ism that pervades American society: we want to connect, to get laid; but not leave the house. Welcome SPAM BOTS! And other, weirder individuals who actually use their Facebook page to garnish more extensive personal information before selling it to Russian and Nigerian spammers, scammers, and hackers.

Tinder may be the hot new dating app for regular folks and beauty queens, but it’s not without flaws. Cybersecurity company Symantec revealed in a blog post earlier this month that it had come across fake Tinder profiles, which spam people and direct them to an apparent porn site designed to take their money.
The fake profiles show up alongside the other photos of strangers you see once you’ve signed into Tinder through Facebook via the iPhone app. For those who haven’t used it, on Tinder you fill out a simple profile and post a few photos of yourself. You are then presented with strangers’ profiles one by one and you can swipe the person’s profile left to essentially “pass” on them and right to “like” them. If both people “like” one another they are connected through an in-app chat feature.
According to the blog post, the fake accounts only chat with you if you chat them first. Once they start chatting, many of them have similar scripts.

The bots use stunted language, and Symantec even found a few glitches in their chats.

Tinder doesn’t currently have any way to report spam in the app, and Symantec suggests that you just “block” any users who you suspect are fake. “We are aware of the spammers and have already taken precautions to prevent them from bothering our users,” a Tinder spokesperson said in a statement to The Huffington Post. “It’s safe to say that it will no longer be an issue.”
The fake profiles are not just there to annoy you, they’re there to take your money. Once they entice you with stilted flirty language, they invite you to videochat with them. The “girl” that Symantec chatted with sent a shortened link to a webcam site.

If you’re silly enough to accept that invitation, you’re brought to a page that asks for your credit card information. The fake “girls” on Tinder will explain to you that the site needs your credit card information to verify your age.
Once you give your credit card information, you will be automatically signed up for the sketchy webcam site’s premium membership. If you don’t read the fine print you won’t realize that you’ll automatically get charged almost $80 if you don’t cancel your account quickly enough.

Satnam Narang, Manager of Symantec Security Response, who wrote the blog post, gave the Huffington Post some tips for identifying a fake profile on Tinder. “Check to see if you have any interests in common. Of all the fake profiles I encountered, none of them shared a single interest with me,” Narang says. “This is likely because they created fake accounts on Facebook and did not populate them with any interests.” He also suggests that you read the short bio they provide. Many of them look suspicious. A few fake bios that Symantec encountered included lines like “will u do it right” and “just need a booty call.” Also, remember that spam accounts never send the first message.
Fake online dating profiles are nothing new. On one popular dating site, OKCupid, users can be chosen to become moderators. Any OKCupid member can “flag” any content on the site, which often includes fake-looking profiles and messages. That content is then sent to the moderators who each say whether the item or profile should be “deleted,” “left alone” or “can’t tell.”
People are likely less skeptical of profiles they see on Tinder, since most of the information on someone’s profile (name, photos, etc.) come directly from Facebook. In order to make a fake Tinder profile, one first has to make a fake Facebook profile with a fake name and fake photos. It takes a lot of work. To make, say, a fake OKCupid profile is simple. You choose a username, use a fake photo you found on the Internet, make up fake information about yourself, and you’re ready for a troll down waste-your-time avenue. After all, how do you expect to meet someone real if your own profile is fake?

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PJ Britton Chronicles


Image

 

     It was late July, mid-nineties, and a classic PJ summer: party all Friday night, crash on the disgusting red couch, wake up Saturday and eat breakfast before heading to the beach. On this particular Saturday morning, on the way to breakfast, PJ saw a man dropping a turn-table onto a pile of junk next to some trash bins and pulled his silver Volvo onto the curb. We got out to get a closer look. PJ asked the man, “Are you throwing that away?”
    “Well, yeah,” said the man. “I’ve been meaning to fix it but I just don’t have the time.”
    “Oh?” PJ said, “What’s the matter with it?”
    “Its missing a needle, but other than that it’s in great shape. I hate to get rid of it. Do you want it?”
    “Well my brother is a DJ,” PJ said. “”I was thinking maybe he could use it.”
    “Oh yeah, well it’s a great unit. I really hate to get rid of it, I mean, if you could give me something for it I would let you have it.”
    There was a pause, then PJ said, “Well, if you’re throwing it away I’ll take it, but, you know, I was just maybe going to take it if you were throwing it away. Maybe my brother can do something with it, I don’t know.”
    “I really hate to get rid of it,” the man said. He looked lost, and then, somehow defeated. “I guess you can have it. It’s been sitting in my garage for years now… well, just take it.”
    “Thanks,” PJ said, grabbing the unit and putting it in the back seat. We drove off, and drove, and were driving over the green bridge when PJ said, “I’ve never been given such a hard time about taking something outta the trash before.”
    I laughed, “He had a real hard time getting rid of that turn-table.”
    “Well come on, ” P said. “”You’re throwing it out and then you want to haggle with me while it’s in the trash?”
    “But it’s a really great unit,” I said.
    “And I hate to get rid of it,” P said.
    “That’s why I’m throwing it away.”
    “But maybe you could give me something for it.”
    “Yeah,” PJ said, his head turned and his blue eyes beamed, “it’s a really good turn-table.”

    By the time we reached the Diner we were in tears. It wasn’t the funniest thing, but the timing was perfect; hung-over, pre-breakfast, and suddenly exposed to some guy’s lengthy personal relationship with a stereo component. We saw the years of frustration in his eyes; the lack of time; the cost/return analysis… and the inevitable conclusion that it was not worth it anymore ——so toss it. But then, the last-minute hope that some value might be re-claimed from this man who wanted to pull it out of the trash… a man who saw it’s potential, who might want to make the effort that he himself had failed to make for years——and even pay him for it… but then the inevitable let down of realizing that, no, even in the trash it was only worth its weight in freedom.

    Classic hilarity, but when we walked into the diner, reality set in. Sober reality. We were in ludicrous mode; sacked-out silly-stupid mode, but the patrons were stone-cold sober; eating eggs, drinking coffee, wondering just what crazy fucks walked into their world. We sobered up immediately.

    PJ ordered his usual; eggs over easy, bacon, toast, coffee and milk. I ordered the same but with orange juice instead. When the meal came he said, “Bretsky, try this milk.”
    “I don’t like milk.”
    “Just a try it,” he held out the chalice.
    “I don’t like milk. I never drink milk.”
    And so PJ took it as a challenge, naturally, and insisted that I have a sip of his milk. “Fine,” I said, taking a sip, and it was delicious. I guess it was the depraved, alcohol-laden stomach lining that appreciated the nectar; the smooth, sweet richness coating my insides. So I ordered one myself. P was right. Mother fucker, he was usually right.

How To Remove Your Deleted Videos from a YouTube Playlist


Go to VIDEO MANAGER

On the left hand side, click PLAYLISTS

You should see a strip of your top videos. To the right of that, click EDIT

Scroll down your videos and select the ones that are listed as “deleted”

Go to the top of the list and select “actions” and then “remove videos from playlist”

 

The videos may not be removed immediately, but they will be soon enough.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Love Child, Baby Photo Revealed!


Baby Conan at 2 Years Old

Arnold Makes Love Child, The Sperminator Strikes Again

by Antenna Wilde

Shocking, exclusive photo of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s love child revealed! How this escaped the public eye is uncertain, for the resemblance is striking. Mildred Patricia Baena, mother of the child, has refused to reveal the boy’s name. However, a source has told Antenna Wilde that his name is, in fact, Conan “The Diaper” Baena. When asked to confirm the name, mother Mildred replied, “Absolutely not!” A denial so strong and swift that it seems, well, a little too strong and swift.

Long known for his aggressive sexual deviance, Schwarzenegger nonetheless managed to dupe his wife Maria and family for years, however, people close to the former Governator say that Shriver was privy to the misconduct, but turned a blind eye for political reasons. When asked what he thought of the new nickname, The Sperminator, Schwarzenegger replied, “I like The Sperminator, I think it’s catchy. No one can really get away with that name but me, you know, and I should mention that I’m coming out with another Terminator movie.”

What future relationship Arnold will have with Conan “The Diaper” Baena remains to be seen, but producer Ivan Reitman has suggested making a sequel to Junior, wherein Schwarzenegger will first impregnate himself, then give birth to Conan “The Diaper” as a thirteen year old clone. Critics argue the premise of a man giving birth assumes that the man not only has a uterus, but a vagina as well. Reitman countered the critics in a public statement released today, saying, “First of all, you can’t prove that he doesn’t have a vagina, that’s never been proven. Secondly, in the movie he would be a hermaphrodite, with a very long penis. Theoretically he could u-turn the penis and thereby manage to impregnate himself. As for giving birth to a thirteen year old boy, well, you know Arnold’s a big guy, so… it’s possible.”

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Osama Bin Laden Alive!


Despite widespread reports of the death of Osama Bin Laden, eye witnesses report that the Al Qaeda leader is, in fact, working as head fry chef at McDonald’s Baghdad. According to sources close to the Jihad leader, despite his radical extremism, he has always retained a long-lived passion for fast food. Although far from Kosher—and certainly not Halal—this may just reflects the enigmatic nature of Bin Laden.

Previously President Obama refused to comment on whether Bin Laden did or did not have a relationship with Burger King between 1992 and 1995, but later conceded that special forces and CIA officials observed him eating a Whopper in Paris, France via satellite in 1991. Sources confirm that regardless of whether the beef was Halal, is was indeed confirmed to be genetically modified. Whether or not this fact will affect the martyr’s afterlife is open for debate.

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Politics of Fear: Why the Threat of a Government Shutdown is Bogus.


by Antenna Wilde

We are being bombarded by it; the horrible possibility of a government shutdown if the Dems and Reps don’t come to an agreement soon. Horse-puckey! Just another technique by the power elite to scare the public into accepting another attack on public services for the sake of the rich. Republicans claim tax breaks for billionaires are necessary because they create jobs, but the only jobs they are creating are overseas.
The Dems and Reps are two sides of the same coin: Reps slash programs that benefit people like seniors, the disabled and education, while the Dems cry foul but do nothing about it. For decades the Dems have been accused of being spineless—and with good reason—but the real reason is to facilitate the power elite agenda under the guise of making an effort in the *two party* system. This is why the “negotiations” are always behind closed doors. Fascinating how these public servants can’t let the actual public know what they’re really saying, that would be unfair to the snakes in office, and they make the rules, after all.
There will be no government shutdown, it’s a hoax. At the last minute, Obama will agree to the majority of the Republican agenda for the same reason he did before: it’s the same agenda of the power elite, you know, those who put him in office. Sure, lots of people *voted* for him, but make no mistake: he wouldn’t have been on a ticket if he didn’t make a deal with GE, Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan and Citibank, not to mention Big Oil and the military industrial complex. Funny how no one mentions cutting military spending while we spend ten times more than anyone else.
The government won’t shut down because the government makes the power elite their money by staying open for business. I’d love to see a government shutdown, just like I would love to see those banks *fail*, but it will never happen. Here’s a scenario that exemplifies why the government won’t shutdown: You own a business selling widgets, and the widgets are bought using public funds. You are in charge of deciding how many widgets are to be provided, and also how much funds will be made available for the purchasing of the widgets. Not a business too big to fail, just a *business* that cannot fail!

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John Boehner says, “The American People”


In response to an overwhelming majority of Republicans being elected to the House of Representatives, the next speaker of the house John A. Boehner gave a speech so vague and lackluster that it was forgotten before it ended. He did say, however, that he would be doing “the will of the American people” and added the phrase, “the American people” more times in a single speech than any other speaker before him.

Opening with, “Across the country right now, we are witnessing a repudiation of Washington, a repudiation of big government and a repudiation of politicians who refuse to listen to the American people.” Boehner went on to say, “it’s clear tonight who the winners really are, and that’s the American people…For far too long Washington’s been doing what’s best for Washington, not what’s best for the American people.”

Afterward he dodged questions from the press by repeating “the American people” so often that it was hard to know if he said anything else. He also mentioned the American people.

“The American people spoke and I think it’s pretty clear that the Obama / Pelosi agenda is being rejected by the American people,” Boehner said, adding, “What unites us as Republicans will be the agenda of the American people. And if we are listening to the American people, I don’t see any problems incorporating members of the Tea Party…”

Dodging another question, Boehner said, “We’re humbled by the trust that the American people have placed in us, and as I said last night, our now job is to listen to the people and follow the will of the American people.”  

By the time Boehner said, “It’s pretty clear the American people want us to do something…” followed by nothing in particular, it seemed clear that he had no idea what the American people actually do want.

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Clash of the Titans 2010. Conclusion: Shitty Script


At first I anticipated a new take on the film, a new interpretation, but unfortunately special effects can’t hide script errors. Sam Worthington was good in Avatar, but he’s playing the same guy in Clash of the Titans. It might not be bad acting, but it is bad directing and bad scriptwriting. Unconvincing, implausible and unrealistic. For example, we are shown how Perseus has been a simple fisherman all his life, but in a matter of moments he suddenly transforms himself into a top-notch warrior who beats the captain of the guard with no training at all? His attitude and behavior is one of a trained soldier, a captain even, not one of a young man learning about who he is and where his destiny lies.

In the original film, Harry Hamlin portrays Perseus well, realistic in terms of how a man would act under the circumstances. He is ignorant yet curious; enchanted by the gods who play him like a pawn in their game on Olympus. He is wooed by the gifts of sword and shield, and is trained to use them to his advantage. With the “new” Perseus, we see a man rejecting these gifts, determined to beat them “as a man” and yet he is fighting against the power of the gods! What “man” wouldn’t take the sword? Let me ask, would YOU take the sword? He does take the shield, perhaps because it is a gift from a man, but in mythology the shield was given by Hera. And by the way, no helmet of invisibility from Athena? And Andromeda is supposed to be Perseus’s love, and yet there is nothing between them. In fact, Perseus rejects her to go live alone on a mountain… what man would do that?

Ralph Fiennes clearly earns best actor as Hades. Thank you, Ralph. Liam Neison is sub-par as Zeus… and where is Poseidon? Poseidon doesn’t have a role at all, I can’t remember a single line he says. In fact, when Zeus famously cries out, “Release the Kraken” Poseidon isn’t even in the room. Zeus dismisses them all and tells Hades to release the Kraken. But Poseidon controls the Kraken, not Hades. This is such a fundamental error that it defies logic in a multimillion dollar film. Perhaps this is what happens when hack insiders hob-nob in Hollywood to get writing credits, or when directors decide to *write* it themselves by hollering out half-baked, ego-ridden improvisations. And what’s with Calibos? In the new film, Calibos isn’t Andromeda’s suitor, no connection at all, totally different guy in fact. And there’s no riddle for Perseus to solve, nothing the original script brought to the film. The original script which was based on mythology by the way. You know, the story! They should have just elaborated on the original script and made it into two detailed films, instead of hacking the original in half; like the pointless chase scene where Perseus goes after one of Hades minions who stole Medusa’s head, —what? Suddenly it was Avatar again.

With all it’s cheesy claymation, the original Clash of the Titans still kicks ass over the remake. I guess story, plot and pacing will always triumph over special effects, ego-stroking and the quest for fast money.

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Death by Electrocution


by Antenna Wilde
12/19/09

I was having a problem with an electrical outlet, so I had an electrician come over to check it out. He said there was no power to the outlet, and went around checking the other outlets. He was spending a lot of time checking these outlets, and I tell him which ones work already, but he keeps putting this electric sensor up to them, saying he, “needs to see if they work.” So I grab a lamp and plug it into an outlet he hasn’t checked yet: the lamp lights up.
He looks at me and says, “No, I have to use this sensor.”
“Yeah,” I say, “I’m using a sensor too, this lamp! You see how it’s on?” Because you know, the lamp is on, so obviously it’s working. And it’s not smoking haywire or shooting electric tree branches up the wall, so I say, “Why don’t you check the outlet over there, you know, the one that’s NOT working?”

At first he frowns at me, but then gets off his knees and goes over to squat down beside the first outlet, taking the plate off and pulling out some wires. “Oh, lookee here,” he says, probing his sensor into the jack, “If that ain’t the biggest rats nest I ever…” and suddenly lightning shoots up his veins and flashes all around him until his head sparkles like a Chisese pinata on New Years, and drops dead to the floor, simmering. I checked his pulse, but nothing. I felt bad, but still, I don’t see what’s wrong with using a lamp to see if an outlet works. Fuckin’ retard. Anyone know a good electrician?

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The Women of Tiger Woods


The Women of Tiger Woods
by Antenna Wilde
12/12/09

They’re all hookers.

Tiger Woods, one of the greatest golfers of all time. Tiger Woods, beloved family man endorsed by a host of multi-national corporations. And Tiger Woods, adulterous sex fiend. Every day another women steps into the media limelight with a new Tiger Woods sex story, yet questions remain: is he really a nymphomaniac, did his wife know about the cheating, and is he hung more like Arnold Palmer or Ben Hogan?

As for the girls, they all have two things in common: they’re all hookers, and they’re all… I guess they’re all hookers. They’re also all white—there you go—and I’m sure there’s other similarities, let me know if you think of any, like they all have the clap for example. But don’t say, “They’re not hookers, most of them have jobs working in night clubs.” Because right there, I rest my case. (Don’t get me wrong, just because you’re working as a cocktail waitress doesn’t mean you’re a whore, but whores often get jobs as cocktail waitresses to meet new clients.) And that’s exactly what’s going on here; hookers posing as night club employees to legitimize their profession. Admittedly, Holly Sampson is a former porn star and Joslyn James is a current porn star, and I say kudos to them, because at least they’re not phonies.

Here’s the line-up:

Rachel Uchitel: Club hostess/hooker.
Jaimee Grubbs: Cocktail waitress/hooker.
Kalika Moquin: Club manager/hooker.
Jaime Jungers: Lingerie model/hooker.
Cori Rist: Aspiring model/hooker.
Holly Sampson: Former porn star/hooker.
Joslyn James: Porn star/hooker.
Mindy Lawton: Waitress/hooker.

OK, I *kind of* get it, except for Mindy Lawton.

Harry Potter Had a Sex Change

Mindy Lawton? Pul-EESE! Put a pair of glasses on this bitch and she turns into Harry Potter. Maybe Tiger was drunk, maybe she cast a spell on him, but say it ain’t so, man, say it ain’t so.

Apparently Tiger likes paying for sex. He even offered his wife Elin 60 million dollars to stay with him. Of course, this is in addition to the money she’s already entitled to under their pre-nuptual agreement, a figure the NY Post reports as 300 million.
And it seems that she’s cashing the check, so…

…as we watch this spiraling flurry engulf Tiger in a media shit-storm, we should consider who got what out of all this. The tramps finally got the attention they desperately wanted, his wife doubled her multi-million dollar assets, the media got a whole lotta dirt, and Tiger got… laid. He should have stayed on the golf course. Too bad for his kids, but they can afford the best shrinks in the country. Elin is the real winner in all of this. Embarrassing, sure, but considering the extra 60 million Tiger’s doling out, each affair cost him (and earned her) a whopping 7.5 million. Do you think she’d have him un-do it all? I wonder. As for Woods, he should have stayed in Vegas. But then again… that’s where he met Kalika Moquin.

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